She sits across from me in a room with only 3 walls. The 4th wall replaced by an opening to a crystal clear beach at the bottom of an island’s hill.
She wears long necklaces and giggles often. She leans over and tells me:
“The fire you feel inside is a burning desire to re-wild not just yourself but the women in this lineage that came before and the ones who will come after.
The obstacles that make you feel restricted and confined are gifts from your higher Self to push you toward your greatest expression: free, wild, passionate, and uninhibited.
A woman that causes earthquakes. A woman that balances softness with power.
For the women in our lineage who never got the chance, you free yourself in their honor.”
Grandma Betsey! How nice to see you. I miss you, by the way. Suddenly I feel a warmth in my chest and an expansion in my soul. There’s a new coherence between the thoughts I’d been pondering and the desire in my body.
The dancer in you, the shaker-upper, the rule breaker and liberator is a wild woman carrying an inward fire. The fire wants to be freed. It wants to burn. It wants to rip it all off and jump in the pool naked. To howl at the moon and stare into the soul of the man she loves. To seduce her manifestations straight into reality.
Our ancestors have answers. Their soul carries the words that could never be expressed for if they were, they landed on deaf ears. Your frustrations and repeating patterns are sign posts for liberation. The irony of desiring wildness and liberation is that for a time you will feel the exact opposite. You will feel the shame of sexual expression. The guilt of wanting more.
Every gift has shadow and light. Grandma looked me in the eyes and said “This is a blessing. This is confirmation that the way you are is not by accident. You were born with extra kindling so that when you finally received my message, you could drop the lit match and ignite that which has laid dormant.”
So what if it’s all going according to plan? What if this is exactly what you needed? What if it’s not a problem but an opportunity? Of COSMIC proportions?
The visions in your third eye are roadmaps. They are the answer. They aren’t something to solve for, but something to accept as reality. You are the woman dancing around the fire. You are the woman with the audacity to break every fucking rule and no longer care what others perceive her expression as.
Your expression is divine. It is god. It is your birthright to experience the pleasure of life and to shock those that bear witness. They need the shock to awaken.
That feeling of your heart burning for more — listen to it. It’s emotional because it is charged with the energy of enlightenment, love, and liberation. These are states as grand as the Universe. You are as grand as the Universe.
Listen to the whispers. Invite the wisdom of your lineage. You are not alone. The support of those who came before you is in a waiting room. Just knock. Let them in.
My grandmother visited me at the perfect moment. She held a message that landed when the medium was ready to receive. As the say, the master appears when the student is ready.
The obstacle appears when the solution is ready.
Those frustrations I couldn’t make sense of, now they are the answer. There’s been a feeling of near-desperation that something in me needs letting loose. Non-stop visuals of dance, clothing, skin, warmth, pleasure. Yes. These come from my soul. They are an invitation to step deeper into my purpose and path.
This process is crucially supported by the removal of shame and “shoulds.” Our souls operate outside the realm of rules and regulations. They desire to express and play and trial. It is only in our 3D restrictive view of reality that we tell ourselves “no, that’s not okay.” I can’t help but think about a powerful line that Elvis’ mother says to him when he receives criticism for the way he dances — the way of hip gyrations and sensual freedom. The man moved with no inhibition. And his mother said “the way you move is a gift from god, so there can’t be nothing wrong with it.”
This is new paradigm. A reclamation of our full Selves so that we can remember our divinity. Women with released shame and full embrace of their physical beauty. This is god at work. In Human Design there is a gift of “love of the physical self.” A gift that expresses itself most positively when you admire and appreciate your physical body in every way. There is no shame in the highest expression of body love.
So why did Grandma Betsey visit me?
I’ve been with my grandmother her entire life. The seed of me and the seed of my mother were there all along. Her and I are inextricably connected. Her passing marked the beginning of my spiritual awakening. Once her soul transitioned over, we began to communicate more clearly. She was a beacon of self expression, but in a more subtle and quiet way.
That’s where I come in. I will never let my fire of liberation go out. I will challenge myself to say the things I believe, move my body in the way spirit commands it to, and I will burn down whatever stops me from being a walking embodiment of freedom. This is a bag task. Sigh. It comes with a twisted stomach and frustration some days.
And other days it comes with Grandma Betsey, meeting me in the depths of my subconscious. Telling me this is my divine assignment.
Free yourself. Wild yourself. Let it go and liberate all those who preceded and those who will follow.
Aye aye captain. And so it is. The rewilding era is here.
Thank you for reading this piece. If you landed here, I believe you were meant to receive these words and this energy in some way. And if you’re new here — this is where I share my unfiltered thoughts and musings about existence, spirituality, and cosmic questions. Welcome. Good to have you :)
I've noticed a change in my self expression. When I was repressed, expressing myself felt like enormous effort. The more I expressed, the more natural it became; now I don't even think about it.
It was a confusing transition to go through fighting to express to just expressing. Initially I missed that 'effort', because I was used to it. But the effort distorted my expression. My flowing expression is so much more instinctive and magnetizing.
YES YES YES. Love all of this!!